Reflections on turning 29

Thankfully for me, birthdays have mostly been joyous affairs. The standout ones so far have been my 18th, 21st and my most previous one, my 28th. This year's one promises to be just as good.

Like New Year, birthdays have also served as a time to reflect on my past, present and future, and give thanks to God for His generous love and grace.

As most of you know, I have mild Asperger's Syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder characterized by difficulties in social interaction and awkward, at times obsessive behaviour. Although of course my parents found out from friends who observed me when I was little, I didn't find out until my late teens what it was that I had. All I knew was that I was different from everybody else, and while at times I felt happy being unique, I also desired to be "normal" like those around me. My recollections of my early years are very vague, but I remember having to undergo speech therapy and then having a social integration aide in primary school.

I'm thankful to my parents that they didn't treat me differently because of my condition; I guess it helps that both are in the medical profession. They did their research, learned along the way how best to help me, and I'd like to think that they're now starting to reap the rewards of their patience and efforts. 

My condition may also have played a part in me developing a sense of inferiority and worthlessness, which led to many years of struggle with low self-esteem. Especially once I became aware of my condition, and that I would have it for my whole earthly life, I even dared to say to God, "Why have You made me this way? I wish I could be just like everyone else and not feel so retarded in my social development."

But God in His infinite mercy, patience and wisdom has been working slowly to change me into the person He wants me to be. The answer to my question came in a roundabout way when I recalled to mind the episode in John's Gospel where Jesus restored a man's sight by anointing his eyes with mud, a man who had been blind from birth. Before he did that, his disciples asked him:  

"Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:2-3, ESV) 

It has been thanks to a combination of this revelation, which has only come with the gift of hindsight, along with the importance of understanding that everyone has different struggles, and finding approval by God and not by man, that I'm in a position to say to God today:

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:14, ESV)

I hope that my life so far has been a testimony to God's grace and glory. Thanks to Him being in me and by my side I have overcome all sorts of challenges, and will hopefully continue to overcome greater challenges that lie ahead.

I also thank God for bringing many special people my way who have helped me along my life journey, some of whom I will be celebrating my birthday with later today. 

Special thanks to my amazing girlfriend Vanessa, for accepting me as I am and being so loving and supportive, even if I don't seem appreciative sometimes. You truly have been God's gift to me, and I hope to continue treating you as such and never take you for granted.

Before I finish this post, a quick shout-out to Becky and Scott, who were happily joined in holy matrimony in front of friends and family on a delightful day. It was great to catch up briefly with both of them and I wish them firstly a blissful honeymoon and secondly the joy of starting their own family hopefully in the not-too-distant future.

Cheers and God bless!